Photographs of Time.

Photographs run along my wall like little elements on a timeline, story tellers of the epic narrative that has become my life. The silent memories softly soar through my mind as time esculates further and further away from those moments I try to recall. Aimless in wonder, my eyes look over the expressions of everyone staring back at me.

Were we really so happy on those nights or during those endless days or in those captured seconds?

It’s always amazed me how quickly one can place a smile upon one’s face. In a shoebox of photographs- there lie a thousand different expressions, a hundred different people, a number of different places and only a few wholly truthful depictions. The smiles and poses that are imprinted on the slightly faded glossy paper are seemingly so genuine, so perfect, so honest in what they are saying…

Take a look at a picture of a bride on her wedding day…she’s laughing, smiling, dancing. The picture depicts everything one would expect to see on such an occasion. However- the picture doesn’t tell you that she almost didn’t walk down the aisle, or that her mother and father in the background are contemplating their recent separation, or that the groom to her left is wondering if he really does want to be tied down. Granted this is a Hollywood-style demise but in the end- no matter what the example, the point is still going to be scripted in the exact same way. It is still going to be said that the photograph does everything to represent the obvious but does little to show the reality of the time, of the moment.

That said - I cannot remain a critic of photographs. I love almost everything about them...from the red-eye and the self-timed sprints to stupid poses you later regret making. Roadtrips, parties, multi-shots and random moments- I love what each of my photographs say- each with a story of its own.

Granted that my captured smiles, poses and completely idiotic moments are not all haloed with dreams, goals and all things peachy but what is a memory without a photo you can look back at, laugh and say “Wow, I was fucked.”

It’s not always our finer moments in life that make us the happiest…perhaps sometimes we need to fake a smile or stick our tongue out in order for us to realize that life isn’t all that bad.

Uncontrolled Living.

I have always wondered why everyone walks around believing that being in control is the epitome of being. Of course, our very first mistake is believing that we have any more control than the minuscule amount that the universe grants us at the very beginning of our life.

We all like to think that if we have a “10 year plan” or if we have a day-to-day checklist that somehow the journey that is life is going to be a lot less bumpy.

The truth is- unremittingly making yourself more organized is simply like putting shocks on a bicycle…it’s a hell of a lot more comfortable but nothing is ever going to prepare you for that hidden thorn, that unforeseen loose sand or that annoying tree stump on the single track that inevitably lands you face-first in a bush.

We can tell ourselves that we are going to be more successful, more powerful, more recognized, more revered - if only we can stick to our goals. However, at the end of the day, none of us ever leave a gap in our list of ambitions for everything that falls under that neglected heading that reads something like “Here’s the unexpected stuff that’s going to knock you back a few steps. Here's the shit you're going to go through that may change the way you see yourself or where you want to be in ten years time.”

I would only fail to guess why we all like to avoid thinking about things that could go wrong in life. I am not saying that we need to live with a discontented attitude towards being but perhaps being a little less conceded about the realities of life will help us to live more balanced lives.


How are we even able to live when we are so focused on trying to achieve some sort of equilibrium whilst we walk on a tight rope of dreams?

Certainly, with all things considered: it may be credulous of me to think that trying to recognize the cornucopia of irrepressible factors and unforeseen demises that we will experience throughout life will make us any more prepared for the lemons that the universe will inevitably throw at us.

Perhaps we do not have to make the choice as to whether we stand there with a handful of lemons or whether we make lemonade. Maybe, just maybe, there is a way for us to live somewhere in between…somewhere that is less ignorant, less idealistic.

Insignifigance.

There is a lot of disruption occuring in various countries around the world of late. Uprising in Cairo, earthquakes in New Zealand, riots in Libya and poverty in the rest of the places.

Have you taken the time to look into why these things have happened or to look at the complete devastation they have caused? Have you taken the time to care a little bit more that all around the world, people are crying out for help?

I have always thought that it is essential for us all to be aware of what is going on in the world around us...be it in the next room, the next house or the next continent. Sometimes we discover things that we truly believe were better left untouched and sometimes it's remarkable to find that we were so blind before we discovered this new, great thing.

Personally - a lot of the time I go around ascertaining and devouring novel ideas and actions, I am left feeling emptied of all faith that people do really care about the consequences of their actions or the endless amounts of torment that can lead out from one stupid, perhaps insignifigant to some, action.

Day by day we walk around, oblivious...but to what?

What is out there that is so important? What is it that we are completely missing? What is it that could change our lives if only we could open our eyes? What is the very thing whose very existence we choose not to accept?

I am not sure that any one of us is capable of truly giving an explaination for our ignorance. I am not sure that the majority of people are in any way phased by things that do not concern them. I am not sure that people feel they can spare any empathy.

But do we not need to stop and re-establish the things that we care about?

Perhaps one day we are put in a position that begs the very question i ask you to others. Perhaps one day you'll be the one, standing in your own wrecked little world, wanting someone to spare a little sympathy for you.

Assets Under Review.

The saying goes "People never realize what they have until it's gone."

Truth be told, the majority of us can probably testify to the accuracy of those words in some way or another. The rest...the minority...they're too busy not appreciating something or someone to actually take note of how different things could be, sans those aspects of their lives.

Or maybe you're that someone or something somewhere to some other person who is somehow unaware of your importance to them. You're just sitting backstage whilst they get closer to a standing ovation at the curtain call of their life...kind of like an ornament...a piece on the set.

But dare we step back for a minute and question everything?

What if Juliet never had a balcony to stand on? What of odette never crossed paths with an evil scorcerer? What if the Titanic had been just five meters west of that ice berg?

You see...there is always something or someone that will make a story what it is. A mere 'small detail' in someone's life can be of the greatest importance. It is not until we view the scenario without the existance of that thing or person that we ascertain a clear understanding of how completely dissimilar our lives could be.

The thing is...more often than not - it's not your cell phone or facebook or your house or the college you go to that go unappreciated...it's the people in all those aspects of your life.

What would life be like without your sister, without your brother? Who would you run to if that person you truly confide in wasn't there? What if you never went to that party that you met your boyfriend at? Where could you find comfort if the person you find it in didn't exist?

Then again, we cannot ponder over every single what if out there.

However is there truly any harm in taking time to examin the things that we gain from?

There is no wrong in showing appreciation for the people that make us great. for they too are remarkable.

Twenty-Eleven.

I thought I might have been tempted to perform some sort of divine opening ceremony to my blog for twenty-eleven.

Guess not.

Is twenty days away from blogging allowed to be considered a much needed mental break or is that just some dimwitted excuse for laziness?

In truth, my mind has been far from inactive over the past few weeks. I have begun to understand what silence and relaxation and a lack of anything better to do does to one's capacity to induce a complete state of thought.

It's fascinating really...all this deliberation equates to nothing on paper. My mind has an increasingly annoying ability to chain any thought or creative consideration tightly behind every single aperture of my body [stubborn little shit].

For now: I remain as incoherent as I was at the beginning of this post.