Something that I heard somebody saying the other day really stuck with me. They said "I dont have time to look out for or worry about other people all the time. If I start caring about every single person's feelings then I could so easily loose track of my own. Why should I put the effort in and care so deeply for someone else when it's so easy for them to hurt me. Is it really worth while to allow yourself to be weakened so much by others?"
I have had different versions of this argument so many times with myself. I always seem to conclude with the same answer that would be expected of any empathetic human being. That answer that makes you feel good about yourself and makes people say "Hey, that's a nice person."
But now when I look at how that one person put it, my view has been somewhat edited. That is not to say that I am some lonesome hard-hearted-hannah with no friends only foes...it just means that perhaps I have been a little inconsiderate of myself.
I love being that person that someone turns to. I love being the only other person in the entire world that knows somebody's secret. I love feeling completely needed by someone else.
So then why do I feel like the wall around my heart should be a little higher than I initially thought?
I think that we do need to protect ourselves from a lot of things. I find it hard to believe that the people I love so much are part of that over-crowded box of things that I should watch out for. However, sometimes it is the people we love the most that we should be most cautious of. For it has been said that these are the people that could hurt us the most.
That is something that agree with. I trust some people with everything my heart can let me but I know, deep down past the denial of this fact, that they could walk away and rip a human-sized hole through my world without so much as a second thought.
But then again, we can't all go around waiting for the worst to happen. We cannot live in expectation of upset because we think that somebody may fracture our very being.
We just need to be careful...not of loving to much or having a surplus of empathy.
I think what we need to be most careful of is not living or growing in our relationships because we have some sort of trepidation of being disappointed
I guess we are all scared of something....
Like the dark
Or never findng love
Or being the spotlight in a room full of strangers
Or just being hurt.